Move Makin’ Monday: 1/29/18 (On-Screen)

Do you fine folks of the world’s population know what day it is? That’s right, the day after Sunday. AKA “Why, God, why?” AKA “Whoever decided to make the weekend only two days should have been assassinated,” AKA “I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it another week,” AKA “Monday.” Yup, that’s right, your favorite day of the week.

Even if it’s not your favorite day of the week, we’re here to make it a little bit more enjoyable. I’d personally like to introduce you all to the very first edition of “Move Makin’ Monday.” The goal of this weekly series of blog posts is to, basically, set the picture for the week ahead. You can expect this to be done in a way that recaps weekend events, personal stories of sorts, questions for readers, indulging in upcoming storylines for the week and plugging in any notable news that Monday has brought to our attention. Keep in mind that we’re a very free-flowing entity here at Crewd Analysis and we like it that way, because that’s generally how we operate on a day-to-day basis. So, all topics touched upon in this weekly blog series have unlimited range. You never know what we’ll stumble upon for discussion from week-to-week.

We’ll outline this series in four sections: The Wrong Side of the Bed, The Clock-In, Setting the Pace, and What’s the Move? With these sections we’ll try to move the day, week and headlines along in a transitional fashion. As you read through a few times, hopefully you’ll start to see the vision.

Now, without further ado, let’s open up Pandora’s box provided by Lucifer’s time stamp itself — Monday.

The Wrong Side of the Bed

It’s a common occurrence to wake up on the wrong side of the bed after a weekend of shenanigans. So, for this portion of these posts, we’ll document 3 things from the weekend that we didn’t like. Let’s get started because I’m PISSED.

1.) BOOGIE. COUSINS. Torn achilles. Extremely late in a mid-season game right before All-Star weekend. Truly, truly tragic. Boogie was slated to start for team LeBron alongside his Pelican running-mate Anthony Davis. Why. WHY did Boogie have to get taken from us before we had the opportunity to see him defend Russel Westbrook in a fight for the ages against Joel Embiid during the All-Star game?! Maybe Cousins wouldn’t have defended anyone but at least he could’ve been there for a good laugh. I’m upset.

2.) It’s official. I’ve lost all of my Snapchat streaks. Every last one of them. Gone. Everyone on my friends list are a bunch of phonies. Actually, just the people that ruined the streaks. And you know who you are. I will admit though, I ruined a couple of them myself but this isn’t about my transgressions right now, it’s about the detriment that was inflicted upon me by my so-called “friends.” I’ll never streak again. <— That’s a lie.

3.) Apparently new refrigerators for Air Force One cost an estimated $24 million. Who knew? Not me. I really only have one question and it’s been irritating me trying to figure it out since I saw the headline: HOW? What technology could you possible put in a refrigerator for it to cost $1 million in installation let alone $24??? I’m sure I do not know. But I absolutely blame Donald Trump for not making America great again with this. He’s now shooting an astounding 0% from the field in that category. But I digress. And for those of you who don’t believe me, see for yourself.

The Clock-In

It’s time to clock-in, you ready? This is the section where you get updated on what you’re walking into after an eventful weekend when you go to clock-in. Notable stories or headlines will be found here. So let’s get started.

The Grammy’s were this weekend and, as you could already expect, the timelines of social media have been scorching with hot takes that rival that of Skip Bayless off percocets ever since the opening score. Bruno Mars set the tone for people’s emotionally charged typing when he took home Record of the Year with his certified banger of 24k Magic. I say certified banger because I officially recognized the certification as of mid-summer while I was in Vietnam. What does Vietnam have to do with Bruno’s worthiness if recognition for 24k Magic you ask? Well, let’s just say the wonderful people of Vietnam appreciated that record very, very much. So much so, I couldn’t escape hearing it at least 4 times a day during my six-week stay, and that might be an underestimation of its spins. Although, the same could be said for the Biebs and his touch on Despacito. Between those two songs, you would’ve swore every corner of the world now had two universal national anthems. Kudos to both artists, and the rest of the artists up for the award, including my personal idol Childish Gambino for the Twitter-fueled cult classic that is now known as Redbone. The Story of O.J. didn’t quite kill it the way Jay-Z may have thought it would, and Kendrick was sat down, for at least this nomination, and HUMBLE. *ba-dum-tss* (Too soon?)

Okay, I would continue to write about the rest of the Grammy’s and spew commentary akin to that of everything trending on Twitter from last night, but to be quite honest… I didn’t watch the Grammy’s. Sorry. BUT, if you would like to express yourself about how things shook out on music’s big night, please be heard by hitting us in the comments section of the blog. We read it all, I promise. Also, take a look at the rest of the night’s big winners by using the link below:

Grammy Winners 2018

Setting the Pace

Here is where we outline the pace for what this particular Monday was, and look forward to headlines for the week ahead. This Monday was eventful all thanks to the never-ending drama America calls the NBA.

The great news at this point of the article? We had an official #WojBomb today! Courtesy of the NBA’s Teller-of-Secrets himself, Adrian Wojnarowski (GOAT), he officially dropped at 3:30pm PST. The bomb, while not his biggest ever unleashed on a TL of unsuspecting inhabitants of basketball Twitter, certainly caused a firestorm that places the Clippers in sole possession of first place for timeline meltdowns in the 2017-2018 NBA season. Followed ever so closely by the Cavaliers who have made a very strong push for top seed as of late.

Blake Griffin was the napalm coating and nuclear fallout that kept the TL very L!T since the bomb touched down. In a matter of weeks, he’s gone from cozy secret tunnels of Staples Center to frigid pizza palaces in the city of Detroit. Yiiikes. Tough change of scenery for a guy that’s been living an off-court a dream in Tinseltown. It’s cold in the D, Blake, I sure hope that Kia has proper insulation.

Speaking of cold — Hi, Jerry West! The Logo showed just how icy the NBA can be when it comes to front-office loyalty. Without batting an eye, he finessed a trade that sent the face of the Clippers’ franchise to the Pistons in exchange for Tobias Harris, Avery Bradley, Boban Marjanovic, and first and second round picks with protections. Seems like a pretty typical way to move pieces to free up cap space and build a future. However, lest we forget, during the summer the Clippers essentially pitched to Blake Griffin during his free agency that he was the lifeblood of the Clippers (and apparently social justice?¿) in an attempt to reel in the PF from taking his talents elsewhere. It was enough to sell Blake on a Hollywood ending with the step-brother LA franchise, but Jerry West just so happened to be the Grim Reaper dressed as the Sandman. Cold game. But Jerry West is suspected to be setting up a potential “check” move to counter the kings (hell no, not Sacramento, sorry Thien) of the West and his former organization, the Golden State Warriors. The Dubs may be the reigning royalty of the NBA, but there is one self-proclaimed King that assumingely looks to shake up the power dynamics of the league this summer with another “Decision.” The always lovable, LeBron James. Blake was a necessary sacrifice in those efforts, and more pieces may have to fall to ultimately land the prize (cc: Deandre Jordan, Lou Williams).

Winding down and crossing cultural spheres, allow me to touch on some other notable headlines for the week ahead:

Trump’s first State of the Union Address – Slated for January 30th (Tuesday) the nation waits with reserved intrigue for the controversial President’s first address to the Nation on a center-stage platform since his inauguration a year ago. I’m sure it will be nothing short of… quotable.

The Super Bowl – Guess who’s playing the NFC Champion Philadelphia Eagles in football’s biggest matchup? Unfortunately, you’re probably wrong. It’s not the Cleveland Browns. In a shocking turn of events, the Browns fell 19 games short of that goal. The 17-Year Cinderella Story that is the New England Patriots, Tom Brady, and Bill Belichick will be representing the AFC in the Super Bowl in an attempt to repeat the meme of a game that was last year’s fiasco against the Atlanta Falcons.

What’s the Move?

This is the part where you tell us the moves for the week ahead. What do you think about the Grammy’s or award shows in general? Who won in the Blake Griffin trade? If Blake Griffin couldn’t tan in LA then how the hell can he possibly tan in Detroit? Is it over for him and Kendall Jenner? What’s the over/under on how many times Trump uses the terms “tremendous,” “proud,” and “Rocket-Man?” Will you even watch the State of the Union Address? Will Tom Brady be the GOAT of all sports if he gets a sixth Super Bowl ring? How much do you already hate the Patriots? Will the Clippers land LeBron? Will the Indians ever change their name? If a tree falls in a forest and nobody is around to hear it, does the sound still echo in the Clippers’ secret tunnel? What should we improve on? What should we add/take away from this weekly blog series? And finally, how do you really feel about Mondays? Let. Us. Know. We’re just getting started so this can be anything we want to make it.

Just know, the grind never stops. And apparently, neither do the Patriots. But hey, we’ll see how the week shakes out. It’s sure to be interesting… stay tuned.

Author: Shock B

Curator of perspectives and such.

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