Crewd Podcast #4: Valentines Dimes

RD

Move Makin’ Monday: 2/12/18 (Off-Screen)

Back on the scene like we never left. Definitely did though, my apologies. I actually typed up last week’s Move Makin’ Monday on a Tuesday and just never hit send. Yes, I was lazy. Yes, I was embarrassed that I didn’t get around to it until Tuesday. Yes, I’m a failure. But fuck all that, I was tired and I’m not really gunna apologize for much else tbh. However, we are back and on track so let’s hop right into this bih and put some words out there.

The Wrong Side of the Bed

There was quite a few things that have gone down in the past couple weeks that really grinded my gears, but to be quite honest I forgot half of them. I just know I was PISSED. So let’s get to some that are still on my mind and see how I feel now. ((Quick answer I’m still pissed))

1.) All these muhfuckin people on this damn BART train rn. Yes, right at this moment as I type this! Everybody acting too familiar with me and I don’t like it. One dude winked at me, another woman smiled in my direction like she knew something I didn’t, and now there’s just a bunch of weirdos shuffling up and down the car as we’re stopped at the station for police activity. I don’t like when people start acting suspicious. So now I’m lowkey hot (literally and figuratively) and mf’s making me nervous and I don’t like sweating without exercise.

2.) Tyga and Kylie Jenner didn’t name their baby, Straight Botox Up Jenner Scott, and that’s extremely disheartening. And I meant to say Travis Scott* not Tyga but we have no time to correct errors in a stream of consciousness. Even Rage Scott Jenner woulda been dope. Or Lip Kit Butterfly even. But noooooo, they just had to name it something that I currently can’t remember the name of because I don’t care as much as you’d think. I just know a ton of people were wrong on Twitter for thinking it was gunna be Mariposa or some shit. What a bunch of fucking idiots lmao.

3.) Women don’t ever text me back after the club .-( Okay that’s a lie, it’s not that they never do it, but I’m currently shooting an abysmal 13% from the field in my entire clubbing life for getting a texting back the day after a club outing. Maybe it’s karma because I never text people back in general, women and men alike, but still this shit ain’t cool no more :/ My game in winning time (the last 10 minutes before and after the club closes) is incredible! At least my drunk self thinks so…

The Clock-In

It’s time to clock-in, you ready? This was a whirlwind week of events and we can mainly thank sports for that. However there’s a good mix of pop-culture stuff to drop in as well.

Raise your hand if, to your own surprise, you were not traded by the Cleveland Cavaliers before the Thursday trade deadline. If you did raise your hand, consider yourself lucky because: you probably do not play for the Cleveland Cavaliers and/or do not have to live in Cleveland. Or, consider yourself unlucky because: you now play for the Cleveland Cavaliers because they acquired you instead of shipping you off and now you are stuck living in Cleveland full-time. And if you have lived and will continue to live in Cleveland for the foreseeable future… I truly am so, so, sorry for you.

But seriously though, the Cavaliers really went full Kardashian on their roster. Ironically enough, in honor of that reference, they decided to keep the salary cap King Kong, Tristan Thompson. Didn’t really have a choice, though. TT ain’t really good for too much these days except keeping up with OJ’s illegitimate child, Khloe Kardashian. The Cavs were able to do right by Dwyane Wade and allow him to reclaim Wade county in Miami for a 2024 second round pick. Kudos to Dan ‘Derek Jeter Jr’ Gilbert for that. For the full list of the Cavs overhaul, check here. And I guess it is worth noting they went up to Boston and did a number on the Celtics during Paul Pierce’s special day. Happy retirement, Sorta the Truth!

Quick, shift to music. Kendrick Lamar, the TDE collective, and friends, released the soundtrack/album they cultivated for the highly anticipated Black Panther movie set to hit theatres this Friday. Not even gunna front, shit is masterful. Kendrick was the one artist that could hold that torch and he Usain Bolt’d that shit across the finish line, for the culture. Big ups to him and the rest of the contributors for that. However, how did we not get a Big K.R.I.T. feature on that? I need answers. Also, check my mini rant on the cultural clammer building up to Black Panther’s release and its perception across demographics right here.

Sticking with music, apparently Jhene Aiko doesn’t like her booty getting ate like groceries? I feel like that’s a let down in more ways than one since she coined the iconic line. Me, personally, I get it. I’m not with the booty play either. But still, I feel like many folks out there now feel bamboozled as they may have been practicing their booty eating talents in hopes of bagging Jhene, pun intended I guess. She explains why her own lyrics were a fib and much more, including her seemingly scandalous relationship with Big Sean in the following link to her BBC Radio 1Xtra interview: No Groceries :/

Taking the windy road back to sports, NICK FOLES THE GOAT beat Tomothy Bumass Brady and the Pats to win Super Bowl LII! Foles balled out posting numbers much similar to my predicted stat-line in the pre-SB podcast (peep dat) and took home the well deserved MVP. In a reassuring twist of justice, Tom Brady fumbled on his initial game winning drive in the final minutes and the tuck rule was nowhere to be found as his recurring savior. HAAAAAAAAAAAN! Shockingly, in the aftermath following the game, the people of Philly failed to burn their own city to the ground. They probably would have been a little wise to burn the Phillies stadium to the ground as they were gifted the best excuse to rid themselves of watching that sewage they call the Phillies, but oh well. Maybe the Phillies shock the world this year like the Eagles were able to… Lmaooooohellnah.

Setting the Pace

Ahhhhh, the wonderful week ahead. Tbh I’d like to fill this was some interesting storylines on the horizon but I can’t think of too many that we haven’t already at least slightly touched on.

Black Panther – Marvel’s Black Panther officially hits the box office nationwide this Friday, February 16th. The film is highly anticipated for a multitude of reasons and is expected to see ridiculous numbers in its debut. Rumor has it, the film is sold out locally for the first 3 weeks. Wowza. Should be L!T as hell.

Spring Training – Baseball is damn near back, and I’m not even gunna front, I’m highkey juiced. In terms of the local teams, idk how the hell the Giants are gunna do this year, and I’m sure the A’s will make noise throughout the season, but spring has almost sprung and it’s always an exciting time as pitchers and catchers report this week to kick off the festivities. I 150% plan on being completely sauced attending at least one Spring Training game this year.

Boston Dynamics – Lolololololmaoooooooooo we really gotta do something about these mf’s out East pouring fire on the fuel of the fire that’s igniting the impending robot takeover. Seriously though, ROBOTS FINNA BE DOING MINI OLYMPICS AS THEY ROUND UP AND WIPE OUT THE HUMAN RACE AND THERE AIN’T SHIT WE CAN DO ABOUT IT! Rotflolol ahhhhhh this shit is getting scurry. They even made a Black Mirror episode about this shit bro!

What’s the move?

Let us know what you’re thinking in your thought tank these days. What’s on your plate? What’s on your mind? What do you like? What do you hate? Who are you? Who are we? When will robots start picking us off? Is Alexa gunna be the leader? Will Watson of IBM be the leader? Do we even stand a chance? Is Cleveland really that bad? Yes. Will the Cavs make the Finals again? Who will win the World Series? Speak up, closed mouths don’t get fed outchea folks.