Introductions are so ridiculously difficult when announcing yourself as a guest into the lives of the world. It’s pretty much like any social network bio I suppose. Except for with this introduction I’ll spare any viewers of a thought-provoking quote, or a humorously bland pop-culture reference that paints a vague caricature of an underwhelming and distraught millennial character floundering in the stream of consciousness. Although, now that I think about it… that definitely sounds enticing.
Everything I’m not is what I am, for better or worse. I’m a 22 year old college grad 7 months removed from the classrooms of the most innovative University in the country (go Devils). The Communication major has served no real purpose in fulfilling the requirements of my dream career path, at least not yet anyways. So, I’m currently unemployed. Which is both terrifying and constrictively freeing at the same time. If I showed you my bank account and my time spent doing what I want in a side-by-side livestream you’d understand that “constrictively freeing” categorization a little better.
Writing has always been particularly intoxicating for me, even when I know it’ll be put to the test under the sharpest scalpel of scrutiny. Writing is what I like to do because it’s easy, it’s natural, it’s me. “Me” being a flurry of personalities, opinions, and perspectives that live their best lives when birthed from a pen (because mostly all of my writing still starts with a pen in this age of technology). If I feel the intrigue to parse any subject whatsoever, I typically earn my fix from scribing ink on paper. This whole impending journey is simply me looking for my authentic fix under my own direction.
As the second oldest of five kids, four being boys and the youngest a girl, my position in terms of influence is pretty abstract. I’m not the trial or trailblazer that my older brother is involuntarily seen as. Nor am I the baby with years of sibling struggle before me to align myself with. Often precarious and enigmatic, this is still my pole position. I receive influence each and every day from each and every direction. Friends, family, and outsiders alike.
Speaking of direction… I want this journey to be an all-inclusive experience. Music, sports, industry, business, culture, fashion, art, poetry, theory, research, movies, TV, past, present, future, and anything desired and thought of. Some thoughts currently prod into my thinkspace visualizing an internet sphere of influence creating a liaison with the world. Features, write-ups, portfolios, etc., are all encouraged and accepted. Conversation when there’s nobody to converse with. Let this serve as a hub.
To close out, I should probably address the heading title of this introduction. “On-Screen” represents my, and I’d imagine many others’, personality of communication when asked to be a particular way for an audience. Think of it like a corporate workplace personality. Buttoned-up, more professional, but undeniably assuming an aura of artificial upkeep to be deemed exceptionally presentable. For any post accompanied with “On-Screen,” know that what follows is meant to have a standard of professionalism. I’ll explain why I chose this distinction in the Part-B of my introduction: “Off-Screen.” With all of that being said… this is interesting. Stay tuned.
This is “Off-Screen.” To put into perspective exactly how these “screens” will go from here on out, peep this next sentence. Fuck an introduction. Nah but forreal, this is the personality that is authentic to my every-day, my upbringing. Call it no-filter or uncensored, quite frankly, call it whatever the hell you want, idgaf. When I’m kickin back with family and friends, this is how we communicate. It ain’t pretty because it shouldn’t be pretty. We’re comfortable. And in all seriousness, this is about as good of a bio as it gets to start an introduction to me and “Off-Screen.” <— I’m tired of quoting them shits btw.
To be real as hell I’m not the guy to ever tell you I have it all figured out. I’m constantly thinking that I don’t know shit about shit. All my years of schooling have felt like a long ass lecture where I wake up a few times from daydreaming and shout out some answers. My responses to all the important questions? By some miracle — correct. My answers to all other questions? Wrong. All answers? Guesses. Educated or uneducated, I can’t call it. But I’m not really trippin because it got me here. And my faith in the higher power tells me “here” is the right place to be, doing this, this exact way.
When I write for me I don’t ever filter myself. The words are chosen off the top, but they always get packaged exactly how I want. Especially in all of my expressive forms of writing. I like pretty writing. Structure, elaborate, delicate, and fancy. That’s dope. But I also like unorthodox writing. Stream of consciousness, no chains, unapologetic, grammatically incorrect, raw-emotion. That’s super dope. I’ve always felt connected with both, but I’m rooted and exist in the latter. My whole life I’ve always felt like an outcast to the fancy shit. Like I’m just as good as the people who inhabit the space, but in their eyes I’m still unacceptable. So a lot of times I say fuck that side and do what I can to defy it. I try to be me, always. But for some fucked up reason this world ostensibly wants your true personality only when it’s convenient. Because of this, I own property in both arenas, but I only feel like a citizen in one. Hence, the reason for the dual “screen” concept.
The goal of all this is content and expression, and ideally comfort. Comfort all across the board. Don’t get it twisted though. The content can and definitely will get uncomfortable at times, but that’s what’ll hopefully make it fun and worthwhile. There’s a stupid amount of shit to expound on in this world, and a crazy amount of creatives with content to share, including myself. So the goal is to diversify our bonds here and chop it all up like a sushi chef.*
Bottom line is this: We got two screens. The first is the politically correct (mostly), socially accepted presence, and that’s “On.” The second is the off-the-cuff, “Fuck what you think cuz ima empty this clip full of thoughts and opinions,” and that’s “Off.” Both are very real and have their own gravity, they’re just different animals and the same beast — word to Kobe Bean. So from here, let’s pop off with the celebration of acceptance for duality, because there’s a wealth of information to appreciate from the coexistence. I think I should also make it clear that while I’m starting all of this off as a solo-artist, these “screens” are open for anyone that contributes to this journey. Any and all contributions are welcome — except for that hate speech and Nazi jive cuz that’s out. And shit, maybe none of this works out. And that would be sad as hell, but still… If you ain’t got it, you ain’t got it. The theory is brilliant. I’m saying though… this is interesting. Stay tuned.
*We fuck with sushi heavy on this side